you were chained to a girl that would kill you with a look.

Hell to ships, hell to men.

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 08:47:54 GMT

Work fails. I stood up all day Saturday (nine hours!) and this afternoon, I have to don three and a half inch heels to go hang around my step-mom and great aunt. (And my dad, who is kind of the only reason I am going.) Then it's time to set up furniture and get mad at Ikea for making stupid shit I have to actually assemble myself.

Whatever happened to being able to sleep in anymore? (I do, however, have tomorrow to Wednesday off! Dear God in Heaven, please let there be a new Lost on Wednesday!)

Oh, and PS, anyone who was going to bother with that root touch-up shit from Clairol, do not bother, pls and thank you. It turned my very nice light auburn hair into like, poop on a stick, making it look like my roots were even longer. F-!

Look, one more edit up in here! Joanie, we need to do something, unless you think I'm lame because I never call and seem to have fallen into the endless void that is the stupid lab. I've been honing my Soul Calibur 3 skills! A little. I've gone from button mashing to knowing the really good ring-out moves.

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 23:03:45 GMT

"We have another new survivor. In episode 2.15, we will be introduced to Jessica, 16, who is described as smart, strong, attractive and will be found on the island. She is also described as being "one with nature." They are looking for 18-20 year olds to play her."

RLY.

End of Greys.

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 01:38:31 GMT

Pages 4-9 of UXM 468. Rachel = ♥.

I, Lucifer, by Glen Duncan.

Sat, 21 Jan 2006 00:31:35 GMT

I, Lucifer, Fallen Angel, Prince of Darkness, Bringer of Light, Ruler of Hell, Lord of the Flies, Father of Lies, Apostate Supreme, Tempter of Mankind, Old Serpent, Prince of This World, Seducer, Accuser, Tormentor, Blasphemer, and without doubt Best Fuck in the Seen and Unseen Universe (ask Eve, that minx) have decided - oo-la-la! - to tell all.

Even though it took me forever to finish, I enjoyed this book a lot. The plot is pretty straightforward, being that Lucifer/Satan/Your Mom/Whatever you call him has been given a kind of second chance by the Big Man Upstairs. Lucifer can return to Heaven if he manages to live a mortal life for one month without sin, by inhabiting the body of a down-and-out English writer by the name of Declan, whose soul currently resides in Purgatory after his half-assed suicide attempt. (Look out, he's a cutter!) I'm not spoiling the book at all by saying he goes on the straight and narrow for thirty days: he's the devil, for christ's sake, it's to be expected. While the book details his various exploits (including lots of sex, lots of drinking, and writing a screenplay all about the Fall) it's also got a number of fun "You remember that thing in the Bible when.. ____? Forget it." scenes, which while they're probably not, uh, correct (maybe they are?) are amusing just the same. Despite the subject, it isn't too racy or too blasphemous, although it's not something you want to read aloud to your kid sister or something. Umm, yes. That is my review, wtf. Worst ever.

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 07:00:10 GMT

WTF aim, why do you toy with my heart so.

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 19:50:23 GMT

O.O

Books.

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 23:53:51 GMT

I keep hearing about this thing called the "50 Book Challenge," which like it sounds, is to read 50 books in a year, and write a little bit about each of them. I'm thinking I might actually give it a try? Although for some reason, I'm being a really slow reader. Anyway, the books I have in-hand and plan to read, are:

1. I, Lucifer by Glen Duncan.
2. Eliot's Banana, by Heather Swain.
3. A Hole in the Heart, by Christopher Marquis.
4. Prince of Dreams: A Tale of Tristan and Essyllte by Nancy McKenzie.

The first and the fourth I've started already, but I've decided to make number four my at-work reading, because that way I can enjoy it even more by only reading a little at a time. I tend to blow through books on good days like it is nobody's business. The only thing I can think of that I'd like to read again is The Time Traveler's Wife, because it was amazing and sad, which means that uh. I have five books to read. Which isn't fifty. I know I have books from ahumblepen coming in the mail, but anything anyone wants to recommend would be great. If there is anyone else doing this, let me know! I know it's a bit of a late start, but still. It will be fun.

Grandma's new jewelry.

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 23:09:51 GMT

View it here. Wow.

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 02:53:44 GMT

So, who else thinks Eko gave up speaking for Lent? That's the only reason I can think of as to why he'd not speak for exactly 40 days.

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 10:32:42 GMT

Wtffff. My order from Barnes and Noble.com isn't shipping until the 16th. That is all kinds of lame. BUT LOST TOMORROW. :D :D :D :D :D! Words cannot describe the elaaation.

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 22:28:08 GMT

So I went clothes shopping today. ... And actually came home with something, amazingly. I came home with some really nice black pants, amazingly soft dark brown corduroys, two sweaters (brown and grayish lilac), a black, long-sleeved shirt, a nice spring green cardigan, four bras (!!!!) and some underwear. This is also the most colorful stuff I own -- and probably what looks the best on me, if I do say so myself. Shopping with my dad is a lot more relaxing than going with my mom, but I'm not sure why. The typical, "Because he is not up my ass" answer applies, but I feel more comfortable with him, I guess, because my mom is like a size two, and I'm just all ".......::leer::" at her when we go. Anyway, I just got out of the shower, because I want to hang out with Joanie before I go back to work tomorrow, and because she's home which means she's going to have to put up with me a lot. Until she leaves, and then I guess I need to make friends at work or something, wtf. I've been really tempted to call Gary and see if he's home, but I'm like.. I don't know. Embarrassed to. I feel bad because I haven't changed much. Still no car, still gross looking, but at least I have a job. So there's ups! We'll see. Maybe I'll get over myself next weekend? Idk!

Second paragraph of nothing because I like paragraphs! Even though this is just a line, oh well. I think I'm going to play FFIV for a few before I go do my hair, and try to track down my bag.

stolen from brian.

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 06:25:51 GMT

by limitedbythesky

101486's LJ New Year Party (Now At Least 17% Politically Correct!)

Started : 01st January 2006 04:55:18 AM

Ended : 01st January 2006 04:38:56 PM

Alco Money! : $ 499

Guests of Honour

hawkseye is a fufilled Wiccan. hawkseye drank 6 Lagers, 4 Absinthes, 1 Aftershock, 1 Cider.
scifispice80 is a demonic Muslim and a greasy lager lout. scifispice80 drank 14 Sherrys.
pandayuna is a good-humored Buddhist and a newbie boozer.
thetypogoddess drank 18 Hot Toddys.
ahumblepen is an insane Fundementalist Christian and a full-time Barney Gumble impersonator. ahumblepen decided to not drink because of their religious beliefs.
ya_har_matey is a sexually repressed Buddhist. ya_har_matey drank 10 Mescals.
101486 is a boring Agnostic and a borderline alcoholic. 101486 drank 16 Gins, 3 Vermouths, 1 Sambucca.
gestapodreams is a good-natured Hindu. gestapodreams drank 4 Cognacs, 2 Goldschlagers, 1 Pulque, 1 Pulque, 1 Irish Cream.
i_like_winners is a buoyant Wiccan. i_like_winners drank 16 Sambuccas.
lollobrigida is a sprightly Hindu. lollobrigida drank 18 Irish Creams.
happy_melody is a downhearted Muslim and is dedicated to furthering scientific research into alcohol poisioning. happy_melody drank 4 Rums, 7 Stouts, 2 Champagnes.

Sick!

By morning 101486's cat had been dyed a unique vomity shade. Oh debauchery! How you have soiled 101486's kitty!

Fights

A huge fight broke out between ahumblepen and hawkseye after the former was reportedly sodomised hawkseye with The Bible.

Lovers

OMG, who would have THUNK it? It seems as though ya_har_matey and 101486 have finally made their feelings known for each other and in style!

The Drunkest

lollobrigida when you catch yourself drinking at funerals, you know you are in trouble!

Random Events

pandayuna brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "obnoxious overblown serial bastard" with
their overly twattish antics.

the room stood in awe as scifispice80 declared that they were jesus before pouring a glass of
red wine over hawkseye's head.

Happy New Year!

Do you believe in all of that New Years Resolution shit? If not, celebrate the New Year as you mean to go on with the ultimate new years party from hell!

Enter your name below to experience the ultimate in complete useless bollocks!

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 02:10:50 GMT

This is really good. I know because I have it. :) HAPPY NEW YEAR, drunk or sober. Stay save plz.

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 18:53:58 GMT

Which David Bowie are you?

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 16:34:30 GMT

Oh, shit. I just deleted all of my pictures on LJpics by mistake.

I feel special when people don't phone.

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 15:17:29 GMT

I'm curious as to which God of sleep-related things I've offended as of late, and why he can't just be the bigger person here and let it go. I went to bed around 4:30 in the morning, and I'm up now, and that just doesn't seem right, nor does it seem very fair. The wake-up call came in the form of a phone call, I guess, but I was awake before then in that kind of, "let's see if I can sleep more, please, pretty please, even though I know I can't" kind of way. One of the women from Lens Crafters called, and she asked me if I still wanted the job (I did), and if I could come in on Monday from 1:30 to 9:30, and Tuesday from 5:30 to 9:30. In my sleepy haze, I said yes. Now I'm hoping she meant, say, 5:30 on Monday, because spending eight hours at the mall is not my idea of fun. I guess they have a really intensive training program; it'd make sense considering I'll be making glasses for people, with any luck. The starting pay is around $8.00, which is okay, I just have to remember to tell them that I can't work Wednesday nights. Or at all. Lost > Job, at this point, which is a little ridiculous, but I doubt they'll miss me for one night.

It's also the 30th. Very perceptive of me, I know. (Truth is, I wouldn't have realized if the woman on the phone didn't wish me a happy new year.) Hopefully I can get together with Joanie today, or tonight, because I've only seen her once since she's been here, and that isn't cool. You know what else isn't cool? Photobucket and LJpics timing out on me as I try to upload some icons. One of my icons and a few of my new lost icons are part of them. I decided to try and re-keyword my stuff, but I'm lazy and only got halfway through it. Which is what my Lost stuff is, actually. I also need to catch up with my friends list. So we'll see how all of the above goes, I guess. :*

stuff & things.

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 22:08:33 GMT

So I re-did my layout kinda sorta. The colors are different and there is a new header. ♥ for Naomi Watts. While I was doing that, my dad called with some "good news," being that his friend, Pat, at Lens Crafters, who like referred me way back when for the job, had apparently called the manager out and got me the job. I guess they messed up and lost my paperwork, and told me that it was because of the drug test that I couldn't work there. So it was their fault, they just lied about it, and she was like "wait a second, wtf@y'all" and.. Yeah. So I should have a job soon. It's good news, because I need a job, but I don't want to work or whatever, so yeah. I guess I need to buy some nicer clothes now.

Someone at ohnotheydidnt posted a link to download that Wolf Creek movie, so guess what I am watching now?

Thank you, and goodnight.

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 05:50:39 GMT

In the year 2006 I resolve to:

Become a slut.

Get your resolution here

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 17:59:59 GMT

This made me lol for a good ten minutes. I doubt the validity of some of it, but still.

♥

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 14:50:49 GMT

I hope everyone had a really great holiday.

... I also hope someone else got nintendogs, because I want to use bark mode really, really badly.

edit: I also found that Match Point doesn't open everywhere until January 20th. I don't know if I'm going to NY or LA to see a two hour and four minute Woody Allen movie, so wtf. Another month of waiting!

omggg someone take me away from lj before i update it to death.

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 17:10:55 GMT

Anne's Christmas card got here today! My mom was like "haha wtf" at the envelope, and the card wins! Maybe next year I will copy her and draw something. (And for those of you that have seen my horrible stick figures.. ) I will hang it up or something when I figure out how. >.> So that card wins. Full of hilarity and awesome. ♥

And oh yeah. It's Christmas Eve. :O So happy holidayz plz!

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 22:34:50 GMT

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world who is a real person, and that everyone I know is either a robot or some kind of made-up person meant to have some kind of effect on me. Am I the only one that thinks that?

omg i am ranty.

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 21:26:08 GMT

Of course, it figures the night I have plans to hang out with someone I haven't seen in ages, the new bra I got is the most un-fucking-comfortable, ill-fitting piece of shit I've ever encountered in my life. I wanted to wash it and maybe find some fabric softener stuff, but oh wait. The dryer does not work, so it will not be dry in an hour and a half, and that rules out the softener possibility, which means there is nothing I can do. My mom says to just deal with it and go sans bra, but fuck you bitch, you are flat as a two-by-four. DD tits + no bra does not equal a good time, and it's UNCOMFORTABLE. She's the one who lost my nice, fairly expensive one, because she brought it to the hospital for my grandma by mistake and I never saw it again. So she buys me this $14 piece of shit that has my sides all red because of it's shittiness. (Okay, I gave her the money for it and she was going to Sears, and I had other places I needed to shop.) THANKS. I will never, ever trust her again when she says "I will take care of it." She has been giving me the spoiled brat look because I'm making a big deal out of this. But excuse me, this is one of those things I feel okay about flipping out over, because what the shit.

Oh, ps, the money order machine at the store? Broken.

My grandfather's service? I can't attend because she doesn't drive on the highway, and my dad wont take me. It's been a REALLY wonderful day. I am about to flip my shit god warrior style.

Depressing much!

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 14:23:27 GMT

Ah, family drama.

My dad's dad died. He had a heart attack, and this is scary because he and my dad are both kind of big. So I guess it's about time I start riding my dad about losing weight, because I'd rather he not die before my grandmother does. I feel bad for wishing my grandma (on my mom's side) was the one that died, (not because I care about her, but because it seems to trivialize the fact someone's dead here) but her condition or whatever? Is getting worse. She can't get out of her wheelchair anymore or even pull up her pants/get dressed on her own, and she's just so whacked out that it isn't even funny. We have to pick her up and carry her all the time and she's 130 pounds of dead weight. Like, that isn't fun for anyone. She still poops everywhere and today I learned a VERY GROSS poop story that I won't share with you all, because it's giving me bad mental mental images as I type this, because yeah. BAD.

I want her to go to a home and have her out of this one. My Christmas wish is that, and that alone. I don't give a damn about any other gifts. Really. I don't.

But back to my grandfather. It's weird, because I'm not sad, but mostly because I didn't know him that well other than the fact he was a horrible dad to my dad. He was nice enough to me, but he was one of those never call on birthdays/Christmas types of relatives, even though I'd call them, so I dunno. I'm not that torn up about it. My mom said I'm the last family my dad has left, and.. I don't know. I was going to make a remark about how he doesn't seem all that interested in doing family things with me, but held back because she seemed upset. (Well, she was crying, so.) They want to have him buried by Friday, and if there's a service, I'll probably go if they tell me when it is. I just need, oddly enough, something black to wear that isn't a t-shirt.

Today I have the dubious honor of calling my grandmother's friend, Stella. She and my grandfather really liked each other and were good friends, so I don't know how I'm going to break that news. I hope I can be tactful about it, but sometimes I feel like I can't help but make an ass out of myself. Like word vomit, it just comes out. "SO, merry christmas, pops is dead." Not exactly the best way to go about that. Wish me luck on a gentle delivery, plz and kthx.

I only have one grandparent left now. My maternal grandfather (or whatever) died of cancer the day I was supposed to visit him in the hospital, my paternal grandmother died like, right on my birthday, and now this, six days before a Christmas that I'd made lots of plans for and stuff. Like, good plans. I know the last is a bit of a stretch, but man, I am killing everything around me, wtf.

I didn't post this for pity, obviously, just my own records and peace of mind, I guess. But there's my story. After that, I'm going to tag Gordon (welcome to the friends list, jeez), do some laundry and maybe take a nap, and then maybe call Joanie and see if she wants to hang out. I'm broke and I know she just got back, but still.

In other news, I would really like an iced coffee.

stuff.

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 23:52:04 GMT

I'm sleepy. But I have two links for you all:

one
and two.

The first is funny, the second is because everyone asks me really simple questions when all you have to do is google and it annoys me. :( And I do not like being annoyed plz. Also, my rice a roni was like neon yellow, but still fantastic. Possibly radioactive food = winnar.

edit. This song wins on so many levels it isn't even funny. Eleven minutes of awesonemess right here, in the form of Rush's Xanadu.